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Executive decision made

November 10, 2010

I hadn’t heard from any doctor by lunch time — not a “you’re due in the operating room by 7 a.m.,” not a “we finally had that two-doctor consult we were planning and decided you don’t need the surgery after all,” not a word.

So I called them and cancelled. Naturally you don’t get to talk with the doctor, so I did my best to be nice to the scheduler.  I said I felt pushed and rushed and for her to let the surgeon know my highest priority is getting my back taken care of. I told her to tell the doctor that having brain surgery right now could interfere with that. I told her to tell him I was disappointed not to have heard from him on the follow-up he was supposed to do with the gamma knife people who recommended a scan before surgery. And I told her to tell him I want a scan scheduled.

I don’t know how much of that message will get passed along, but it felt good to say it all. I will be responsible to follow up with that scan, but I will do it with the regular radiation oncologist. If he feels I need a referral back to this surgeon, then that’s fine.

You know, at this point every decision I make about this stuff could end up being the stupidest decision ever. Oh well! I’m confident of where I’m going, so I’m just going to relax and do what is right.

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. Babs permalink
    November 10, 2010 12:27 pm

    booooo to the dr.!

  2. E Lis permalink
    November 10, 2010 12:36 pm

    As you know I’ve had to make many tough decisions for P through the years, including ones that could be life or death on my own. I definitely have left such messages and typically have had a nurse call me back shortly with a message from the doctor. It is not okay for medical personnel to not respond. I know they are busy, but geesh so are we all and shortly yes, I’ll be part of “them” as a health professional.

    I think you made the right ‘call’ literally and figuratively. Afterall for surgery, shouldn’t you even be prepping, i.e. not eating or drinking by a certain time of day and such?! Does your medical center offer any case management services? It is unfortunate so few do as you are balancing so many doctors on your own, which alone is insanely time consuming.

    (((HUGS)) Definitely in my prayers every single day, good thoughts, healing white light and much love and care sent to you and yours!

    – Lisa

  3. Debbie permalink*
    November 10, 2010 12:44 pm

    I ame 100% confident that was the right decision.

  4. Sandy Bartell permalink
    November 10, 2010 1:23 pm

    Your decision makes perfect sense to me. You can’t funtion in any capacity when you’re in the kind of pain you’re in with your back. Since the brain tumor isn’t affecting you the way the back is now,that seems totally logical to me. Of course I’m not you and I’m not experiencing all the multiple things you’re going through, but as long as I’ve known you you’ve always seem to make clear and level-headed decisions. You go, Girl!

  5. mom permalink
    November 10, 2010 1:58 pm

    Me four. Go daughter!!! Mom

  6. Colleen Oates permalink
    November 10, 2010 2:23 pm

    Jill,
    So many people are praying for you so I am confident that you are making the right decisions for you and with God there are no mistakes. Love you and the family and God bless you. Colleen and Ed

  7. Ellen permalink
    November 10, 2010 3:12 pm

    Me 5, or 6?

    I would have done the same thing.

    • Murray permalink
      November 10, 2010 3:35 pm

      Me, too. Surgery without feedback first seems like a bad idea. Blessings… Maria

  8. Lisa Welch permalink
    November 10, 2010 4:10 pm

    I think every decision we make regarding our health and future empowers us. So. whether it was “the” right decision, or not, it was right for you to make it. I so hope you can get someone to address your back pain soon.

  9. Gina permalink
    November 10, 2010 4:16 pm

    Wasn’t it Sophocles who said quick decisions are unsafe decisions? If the surgery ends up being necessary you will make that decision based on information and time. Praying that your back pain gets treatment ASAP.

  10. November 10, 2010 5:16 pm

    Me 10th (or is it up to 200 by now?) Continuing to pray and wishing you every good thing and pain relief
    xoxo
    Liz

  11. November 10, 2010 6:10 pm

    You people…. so nice that you have my back. Literally this time. Still gimping along. Will call the cyberknife people tomorrow afternoon if they haven’t gotten back to me yet. They have pencilled me in for surgery starting Monday because they still haven’t finished their plan yet. I know they need time to do that correctly because we don’t want nerve damage. But I want to be penned into their calendar. Now. In indelible ink.

    I’m thinking of sending a watermelon to the surgeon with a note telling him if he needs something to operate on he can have this and enjoy himself. I suppose I should be nice just in case I’m under his care in the future and not awake to yell at him.

    • E Lis permalink
      November 10, 2010 8:20 pm

      I am afraid I would be too tempted 😉 Nah, but I would call again tomorrow and explain my concerns, etc. They sometimes do forget the human element and it is unfortunate for all. I confess calling my Dad’s docs as I had full release of information and informing them ‘this is not okay’ and they would respond quickly. I would do it for you too, as Rehab Counselor tends to get a response way quicker than a patient, family, etc. person which is a crappy thing too. Yes, I cussed 😉 What is wrong with docs and no…none of us want go through it!!! Prayers. You can text me the numbers and I betcha they would respond to me pretty quick and yes that sucks and it is also a professional alliance of sorts.

  12. Sarahtee permalink
    November 11, 2010 12:46 am

    Getting your back sorted first makes more sense – good to know that should happen next week, Jill.

  13. Rachel permalink
    November 11, 2010 8:03 am

    In situations like this, where it seems you have so little control, it’s even more important to go with your gut-feeling on the few things you can control. I hope they are able to “tatoo” you (seemed even more permanent than just indelible ink) into the schedule for Monday, so you can get some relief from the back pain.

  14. Jennifer permalink
    November 11, 2010 2:11 pm

    Me…eleventh? (I’m on my way to the hospital right now…taking my mom who has been losing weight since August. Not sure what to make of it…) But we’re DEFINITELY praying for you and we KNOW you made the right decision, too!!

    Peace and Hugs,

    Jennifer

  15. Denise permalink
    November 12, 2010 6:39 pm

    I hope that Monday’s surgery happens and is a complete success. Still praying for you and your family and all the medical people involved.

    Denise

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