Anna Nicole Smith, my celebrity twin.
[picapp align=”left” wrap=”true” link=”term=Anna+Nicole+Smith&iid=4238127″ src=”http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/4238127/exclusive-file-howard/exclusive-file-howard.jpg?size=500&imageId=4238127″ width=”500″ height=”331″ /]I think we all have a celebrity twin out there somewhere. Mine happens to be Anna Nicole Smith. I just realized that today. At first I thought it was Simon Cowell. We were born in the same year (okay, I’m a couple of months older — just a couple), and we pretty much agree on who has musical talent and who doesn’t and I often say the same thing to the TV that comes out of his mouth only seconds later. But nobody has asked me to replace him on American Idol, so apparently I was wrong about that celebrity twinship. Oh well.
Good thing that today I found out that I’m exactly like Anna Nicole. First, we look virtually the same to people who are almost blind. Second, if you knock many zeros off her (former) income, we make about the same amount of money. See how it works? Fortunately, nobody found me unconscious on the floor of a Florida hotel room. Poor Anna Nicole.
But what I found out today that ties our twinship forever is that Anna Nicole took 1,500 pills a month, which her doctor says doesn’t mean she was an addict. That’s a good thing. When I read that I thought, “Wow. That’s a lot of pills. That’s 50 pills a day. I wonder how anyone gags down that many pills in a day.” Then I thought, “Oh, wait a minute,” and I went home and counted my pills! Yes indeed, boys and girls, I take 46 pills a day and three different powders*! That means Anna Nichole had me beat by JUST ONE PILL. She’s the more talented twin, of course.
*Eight of my daily pills are poison chemo pills. The rest of the pills and the three powders are all to counteract the side-effects of the chemo pills. I wouldn’t get through a day without them.