A meditation on eyebrows.
[picapp align=”left” wrap=”true” link=”term=funny+eyebrows&iid=214393″ src=”0210/97c7619d-8add-451c-bdb8-ef5837154202.jpg?adImageId=12643635&imageId=214393″ width=”234″ height=”351″ /]A few months back one of our assistant pastors went through breast cancer treatment and, as a result, she lost her hair. During a sermon she scanned the congregation and said, “Look at all those nice heads of hair! I never noticed them before I lost mine.”
With this round of chemo I initially lost about 60% of my head-hair — down to the 80-year-old grandpa level — and then it’s slowly come back to about 80% of normal. Very slowly. I also lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. You might not know this, but eyebrows and eyelashes don’t grow as quickly as the hair on your head. Sometimes they never come back. Fortunately, mine have started to come back, but now they’re pure white! There’s makeup to darken said facial hair, but what a pain. I’m not much of a makeup person.
I’ve ignored eyebrows pretty much my whole life, but because of my loss, like our assistant pastor, I’ve become an observer. Most of you have nice eyebrows. Some are scary. The most startling sighting was in a grocery store where a woman of a certain age was shopping in one of those motorized scooters. She looked up at me and she had four eyebrows. Two of them were her normal eyebrows and two were drawn on in bright red (to match her dyed hair) about an eighth of an inch above the natural brows — in a high, long arch extending practically to her ears. I think this woman wanted to stay in fashion with her decade, but didn’t want to, or no longer could, continue plucking or shaving the old brows.
So, here I am walking around wishing for at least two eyebrows and this woman taunts me with four. How fair is that?!
[picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=egg&iid=251377″ src=”0247/a3790620-0f69-4389-8ec7-3d7962aa3d5b.jpg?adImageId=12643621&imageId=251377″ width=”234″ height=”299″ /]I don’t know if you know this, but if a woman is an eyebrow styler you can often tell which decade she came of of age in by the style of her eyebrows. This particular woman came of age in the 1930s when it was the style to pluck your eyebrows very thin, or sometimes even shave them off, and then re-draw them in a very high arch that ends way past the outside edge of the eye. Then the habit was to make them shine with a little application of petroleum jelly. No wonder their natural eyebrows sometimes never grew back. If you’ve noticed women in 1930s movies look a little “surprised” most of the time.
You might want to date your own eyebrows using this chart: Eyebrow Styles. This of course assumes you pay attention to them at all. If nothing else, thank your eyebrows today for just being on your face. You’d look like an egg without them.