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To the person in San Antonio who used my debit card number….

February 2, 2010

…. and took our checking account down to minus 78 cents before we and the bank figured it out. If you’re attempting to steal my identity, you’re welcome to have it if you agree to take the bad parts. Here are a few things it comes with:

  • Two brain tumors that have been treated and are healing.
  • Two new brain tumors that you get to watch every two months until they’re big enough to treat — and hope no new ones show up in the mean time.
  • A tumor in your lung.
  • A tumor on your right 8th rib.
  • Weekly chemotherapy treatments.
  • Spontaneous nose bleeds from the chemo.
  • A nasty festering pimple (chemo side effect). You can have it on the inside of your thigh where mine currently resides, but I’d hope you’d agree to have it between your eyes because you deserve it.
  • A staph infection in your eyes.
  • Hearing loss as a result of the chemo.
  • A large pile of medical bills.
  • A car that needs a transmission.
  • Another car that has 195,000 +++ miles one it and has only whoknowshomuch life on it.

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Enjoy! Have a great old time with your new identity. I’ll keep the good parts of my identity and move on down to San Antonio. I hear the weather’s better there.


I wonder if this is God’s way of answering my desire to find a new body — he does have a sense of humor. Be careful what you ask for. 🙂 As far as I can tell the bank’s on top of this and it shouldn’t go further. I’ll get hold of the identity theft people and have them watch too.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Maria Murray permalink
    February 2, 2010 7:12 pm

    Boy, some people – that really stinks! I’ve been through that, so I know. We’ve been reading Dante (in Dr. McM’s class with my youngest) – I think identity thieves go in that ninth circle – though I suspect Dante, if he were alive, could think of something even more hideous. I hope the authorities catch them, but mostly I hope you get everything back and aren’t caused too much stress by it all.

    Take care of yourself – Maria

    • Jill permalink
      February 2, 2010 7:20 pm

      Yes. The ninth circle. The one with the maggots drinking blood, right? Perfect.

      As far as I know we’ll get all the stolen money back, but it will take about five days. I’m sorry it also happened to you.

  2. Bemused Boomer permalink
    February 3, 2010 12:28 am

    If only you could make that nogoodnik take on some of your other stuff while he’s busy stealing your financial identity. It would be SUCH good payback!

    Kudos for keeping your sense of humor.

  3. Deb permalink
    February 3, 2010 7:45 am

    Omigosh, that is so scary! Were you one of the people that had personal information stolen last year? I’m relieved that you caught it in time and are getting your money back! Like you need one more thing to add to your stress list! Take care my friend, you’re in my prayers! Hugs, Deb

    • Jill permalink
      February 3, 2010 9:45 am

      Yes, I was one of those who had my info stolen from work. I don’t know if they’re related.

      One other interesting tidbit. I had a visitor here on the blog from Mexico yesterday, but I didn’t mention that the card was also used for a small purchase in Mexico. I don’t know if there’s a connection, but if there is then that person is looking at some seriously bad karma.

  4. Lisa permalink
    February 3, 2010 9:59 am

    Reminds me of my reply at some point last year, that I was changing my answering machine message to say – We are busy with cancer right now, if you have something important to say — I’ll get back to you in a year or so if you submit the request in writing… if I don’t know you and you think it is important, then please leave a message which I will not be returning anytime soon 😉

    I am so terribly sorry! I’m glad the bank is working on it. Why is it that life never holds just one major thing to deal with? But multiples?

    Good thoughts! Sending evil get them vibes to the person who did it. Sending prayers for you and yours!

  5. Lisa permalink
    February 3, 2010 10:02 am

    Interesting, I hadn’t noticed the country counter… can the website also track what states people are posting/reading from?

    On one hand, that frightens me… on the other hand, I’d be tempted to set it that way if I knew how or if it is was possible..

    • Jill permalink
      February 3, 2010 10:17 am

      No, I can only see countries. It’s kind of interesting, though, to see how far blogs can reach globally. It’s nice to imagine I can send my evil thoughts directly to the perp.

  6. Lisa permalink
    February 3, 2010 6:18 pm

    The country counter is very interesting… definitely best for vodoo curses as well 😉

  7. February 3, 2010 8:12 pm

    Someone in Bahrain spent all my money last year, I’m sure they were able to afford a BigMac and maybe a supersize fries…or a goat burger or whatever they have over there…
    Pretty easy to prove I was not in the middle east at that time 😉 (hiding my new pet camel under the carpet)
    Banks are pretty understanding about these things anymore, most of them have software that catches on to these scammers pretty fast.

    • Jill permalink
      February 4, 2010 9:04 am

      So you’re not teaching the dogs to herd camels? Too bad. I’m sure they’d love to get camel spit on them.

      I think they found the person who used my card number. I ran across her mug shots. Looks like they have her corraled:

  8. February 4, 2010 9:48 am

    People are getting pretty desperate — they’re even trying to pass counterfeit checks on our escrow trust account here at work, which has loads of fraud filter features, so none of them go through. As a direct result, however, the company is now the target of a scam by an outfit who promises to protect your identity and protect your account from further fraud by providing a vendor assurance service, so that when you write a check or use a debit card, the vendor can check with them to make sure it’s good. I’ve looked into this, and it’s a complete scam. You need to provide them with names, social security numbers, driver’s license copies, and signature samples from every signer on the account (that’s dozens for us.), and they then actually use that to wreak havok on your life, not protect you. I wrote them a letter saying this is a business account and that we already have fraud protection. They wrote back that we are now responsible for paying for the counterfeit check. I turned it over to our corporate attorney. He’s having a fun time going after them! Our corporate bankers are involved as well. We’re a large customer for them, with around $250 million in transactions per month. You’re right, then banks do a good job of making sure you’re put back to the way you were money-wise (that’s why many of them charge high fees and pay low interest.) They can’t do anything, though, to stop that feeling of being violated. I hope you can shake it off and go on with more important business — like getting well. Sending hugs of support!

  9. Debbie permalink*
    February 4, 2010 9:52 am

    I couldn’t open the photo, but I’m sure she’s a lovely woman. The judge needs to read your blog at her trial and 6 months of chemotherapy should be included in her sentence.

  10. Debbie permalink*
    February 4, 2010 9:55 am

    Ahh…the photos finally opened instead of just showing the link. She’s better looking than I thought she’d be, but still a complete ass…

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