To the person in San Antonio who used my debit card number….
…. and took our checking account down to minus 78 cents before we and the bank figured it out. If you’re attempting to steal my identity, you’re welcome to have it if you agree to take the bad parts. Here are a few things it comes with:
- Two brain tumors that have been treated and are healing.
- Two new brain tumors that you get to watch every two months until they’re big enough to treat — and hope no new ones show up in the mean time.
- A tumor in your lung.
- A tumor on your right 8th rib.
- Weekly chemotherapy treatments.
- Spontaneous nose bleeds from the chemo.
- A nasty festering pimple (chemo side effect). You can have it on the inside of your thigh where mine currently resides, but I’d hope you’d agree to have it between your eyes because you deserve it.
- A staph infection in your eyes.
- Hearing loss as a result of the chemo.
- A large pile of medical bills.
- A car that needs a transmission.
- Another car that has 195,000 +++ miles one it and has only whoknowshomuch life on it.
[picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=tongue&iid=157066″ src=”0153/bee42554-eb99-4d86-9efa-1404808c7cea.jpg?adImageId=9850300&imageId=157066″ width=”234″ height=”156″ /]
Enjoy! Have a great old time with your new identity. I’ll keep the good parts of my identity and move on down to San Antonio. I hear the weather’s better there.
I wonder if this is God’s way of answering my desire to find a new body — he does have a sense of humor. Be careful what you ask for. 🙂 As far as I can tell the bank’s on top of this and it shouldn’t go further. I’ll get hold of the identity theft people and have them watch too.