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Last chemo of the year

December 31, 2009

[picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=poison&iid=175982″ src=”0172/d879ebdd-0e88-4578-bf6e-bfc565f8c609.jpg?adImageId=8745325&imageId=175982″ width=”234″ height=”244″ /] Here I sit having chemo on New Year’s Eve, but I might as well take advantage of the fact that I’ve fulfilled my deductible for the year and this $14,000+ session costs me nothing. My bloodwork looks good today, even though I feel like I’m 90 years old. I guess that’s good enough for poison administration.

The latest is that I will have a brain scan in late January to see if the brain tumors are still shrinking. I’m pretty sure they are, but it’s good to check. In early February I’ll have an MRI and CT of the chest area to look at all other tumor sites. This will let us know if the chemo is working and how long I’ll need to continue the Abraxane.

The Abraxane is the “chemo” part of the various drugs I receive. It’s a taxane, derived from the yew tree. This is one of the trees your scout master likely told you not to eat when you were learning how to survive in the woods. It’s the drug that is making me feel horrible. What I’m hoping that is that if all tumors have shrunk or are stable I can ditch the Abraxane and go on maintenance Avastin and Zometa. I think that after a month or so of recovery from the Abraxane I can resume normal life. So, please pray that will happen for me.

So, I enter the new year thoroughly poisoned, with my eyelids twitching and eyes watering because I have no eyelashes. If you ever wondered why you have eyelashes, this is one reason. I am also short of breath when I exert [picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=fireworks&iid=222663″ src=”0219/68deb101-f734-4577-80e6-a415008828eb.jpg?adImageId=8745753&imageId=222663″ width=”234″ height=”351″ /]myself in fairly mild ways. This, the doctor tells me, is simply from being out of shape because I’m too tired to keep up with my normal exercise regimin. The oxygen levels in my blood are also a little low, but nothing remarkable — so they say.

If the results of the scans are not good, it’s possible I’ll be popping from one chemo to another for the rest of my life. This would put me in the realm of the disabled. I’d rather not be considered disabled at the age of 50. Yet another prayer request.

I would also like to get my brain in order so I can concentrate enough for some writing I’d like to do. Another prayer request.

I hope 2010 holds great things for my family and yours. May all our dreams come true and our nightmares vanish.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Mame permalink
    December 31, 2009 7:41 pm

    Here’s to a New Year with filled with answered prayers and fulfilled dreams.

    I am so grateful that for some reason our stars made a connection through the vast mega cyberspace. I have learned so much from you (politically, spiritually and now cancerly) and I truly hope you continue with your writing so I can learn even more. Yes, it is all about ME. lol

    Happy New Year, my dear friend and sweet dreams.


  2. Resa permalink
    January 1, 2010 3:28 am


    To dreams coming true and answered prayers.

    Goodbye 2009, you old bitty.

  3. January 1, 2010 11:47 am

    Happy New Year, Jill! You are always in my thoughts and we are always in your pocket! LOL

  4. Lisa permalink
    January 2, 2010 4:25 pm

    Tinkling my glass late against yours. May the New Year this year and the ones to come bring you all of your hopes and dreams!

    I am very grateful for having you in my life through the years and many years to come!

    Unfortunately my Dad went through the loss of breath issue, never had a doctor completely confirm the ‘why’ it was occurring. I know he felt it was debilitating at times. So many side effects and until you or a loved one goes through it.. hard to really know the total impact it has on a person.

    May your eyelashes grow back and be longer then ever and keep your eyes moist too!

    – Lisa

  5. Dave Bara permalink
    January 2, 2010 10:23 pm

    Consider your prayer requests sent to the Big Guy.


  6. Colleen permalink
    January 4, 2010 5:32 am

    Thinking of and praying for you, Jill. We just arrived back from NC last night from visiting Michelle and family. John is there too until he flies back to Seattle tomorrow. We had a great time seeing our grandson, Camden and everyone else. By the way our son in law, Mark has been looking at that job site you suggested.
    Thank you for your Christmas card that was waiting for us when we arrived home last night. I have a workshop today so I need to get going, students come back tomorrow. Happy New Year and we will continue to be in agreement with you in prayer for your complete healing. God bless all of you. Love, Colleen and Ed

  7. January 11, 2010 9:39 pm

    I know things are tough right now. Life sometimes gives you the test before you’ve had a chance to study the lesson. I know you’ll succeed. keep on keeping on.
    Love ya
    Aunt Pat

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