Well, it was a weekend of dealing with intense shooting jaw pain from the Zometa. I’ll have to talk with the doctor about that as it is a sign of osteonecrosis of the jaw — 0ne of the more painful and disturbing side effects of Zometa that isn’t supposed to show up for months and months and then only after dental surgery. Further, blood tests show that I now have high-normal blood calcium levels, which is new and yet another confirmation of cancer in the bones doing its nasty business.
To counter the jaw pain I took over-the-counter pain meds as encouraged by the nurse during chemo (Deb… she said that, right?). Unfortunately, she and I missed the part in the Zometa handout that said not to take NSAIDs, which are usually the only OTC pain meds that work for me. On the other hand, I wasn’t all that sharp during chemo treatment so maybe I missed something.
Zometa + NSAID = Irreversible kidney damage
Terrific. I might have to ask one of you for a kidney.
Yes, I also have prescription pain meds that don’t interact with the Zometa. They make me vomit, though, so that’s yet another problem. I was never meant to take foreign substances into my body. Should have bought that goat farm years ago. Oh well. Too late now.
I spent much of the weekend lazing about and being generally useless (my new job), but managed a couple of walks and then naps afterward. We also went to the library book sale ($1.00/bag of books), which was fun; however, one book I got is the Weirdest Book Ever*. I won’t mention its name, which is giving it too much publicity. Apparently lots of people like this book, so maybe it was just the chemo and my brain interacting badly with the book, or maybe not. It’s truly a profoundly disturbing book and I will probably start a fire with it this winter and hold some sort of home-purification ceremony at the same time. Fahrenheit 451. In the words of Dorthy Parker: “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.”
Beyond that I was fairly disoriented a good deal of the time, a little bit unsteady, and lacking in depth perception (missed a stair here and there). I put this down to high-dose IV Benadryl, which they use to counteract any potential allergic reaction to the chemo addling my brain. By the way, I don’t recommend IV Benadryl as a recreational drug unless you’re into recreational napping and recreational falling down in front of people.
Right now I feel like the floor is made of the soft side of Velcro and the bottom of my feet is made of the loopy side (my brain is a little loopy too…). With every step it is getting to be an effort to lift my feet and move forward. This feels just a bit like I felt five years ago when my red blood cell count took a serious dive, so I’ll be curious to see what that count looks like on Friday when they take blood before they poison me again. And, yes, if a nap doesn’t help I’ll call the doctor today or tomorrow instead of waiting for Friday.
I am far far behind on emails, thank-you notes, and general social interaction. Please know, though, that I am overwhelmed by all your kindnesses and prayers. Continue to pray for a complete healing. Hank and Daniel and being champs. I couldn’t sleep for part of the night last night, and Daniel got out of bed and popped in to the office a couple of times to check on me. Nice kid. Hank’s getting some action in the job front, too, and is very busy with all the stuff that needs doing around here. I know he’s called a couple of you for specialized help and advice, so thanks to you for that.
I also need prayer to be able to concentrate long enough to take care of some administrative necessities like getting a list of benefits together for Hank so all he needs to do is make one phone call to work to set “things” in motion should that become necessary. I also want to get a whole lot of disparate loose ends together “just in case,” like photo albums, genealogies, life stories, etc. These things are really weighing on my mind and are very important to me — chemo robs me of the ability to concentrate, and remember though.
This morning I couldn’t remember where my own brother works. I had to look it up. That’s incredibly discouraging. He works for The Hunger Site, by the way. I wanted to add a link and did.
*I agree with this Amazon.com reviewer about the Weirdest Book Ever:
I read (NAME DELETED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT) many years ago because it was gathering such brilliant praise. It is an appalling book. It is pornographic, disjointed, depressing and very, very weird. It reads like the drivel that comes out of women’s writing classes which is supposed to be so profound but is merely the meanderings of a mind steeped in Harlequin trash. It was written most probably on a filthy kitchen table while a pile of dishes fermented in the sink and a baby sitting in a high chair screamed his head off.
This book is not fit for the compost heap.